My Why…

Thanks for joining me!

My name is Lolita Law and I live in a small town in Kansas. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and in May of 2017, after 9 long years, I earned my Bachelor’s degree in Biblical and Theological Studies. (I am thinking of getting my Masters… I am praying about that and funding).  I am also a widow of 2 years.  This is where my journey to “Finding Blessings in the Middle Of Grief and Suffering” begins.  God has led me to help others that may be on a similar journey.  First, let me give you a little back-story…

In March of 2016, my husband, Michael, was diagnosed with Advance Staged Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer. After 7 months of doctors’ appointments hospital visits and many hospitalizations, my soulmate of 28 years went home to be with the Lord, October 25, 2016 at 2:19, on beautiful sunny day at the age of 48. We were devastated and totally caught off guard and this left my girls and myself in shock.  My daughter ShaRonda was 27 and my youngest daughter Morgan was 18 and a freshman in collage. My father-in-love, Pop Skipp (with 2 p’s) flew in just hours before Michael was admitted to ICU, heavily sedated, and placed on a respirator.  The next 10 days family and friends came and we sat, talked, and sang to him while we waited for the doctors to do their jobs and for God to work a miracle.

We had many miracles that happened during this time.  The ICU never allows more than three visitors in the room… there were times we had up to 10 at a time and the day he transitioned we had over 15 people in the room! I remember one morning the Doctors that came in saw a prayer cloth on his chest and remarked about that they were Christians and they admired our commitment to keeping Michael covered in prayer, but also at the same time honoring God.  The nursing staff that attended to him always made sure they worked around the prayer cloth, asked questions giving us a chance to witness to them.

Finally, the Doctors told us there was nothing else they could do.  The tumor had blocked his bronchial airways and he was now considered on life support, and some of his organs were beginning to shut down.  The cancer was continuing to spread and he was no longer able to receive treatments.  My daughters, Pop Skipp, and I prayed and talked and we made the hardest decision we ever had to make for towards a husband, father, and son.  We decided to take him off life support and allow the Lord’s will be done.  We let our family and friends know about our decision, giving them a chance to say their good bye and a choice to be there the afternoon we removed the machines.  In all of this, we were still hopeful for a miracle. We sang, prayed read scriptures, and talked about Michael’s life.  The ICU room was always freezing and that afternoon it was so warm in the room.  We knew that the Lord was there.  When the hospice nurse took him off the respirator I laid my head on my beloved chest, (I had to hear the moment he took a deep breath or if his heart stopped).  During that time, I could just picture Michael was standing at the threshold between earth and heaven, looking back and forth between us and then to JESUS trying to decide, and I believe Jesus extended his hand and told him, “they will be okay it’s your time.”  I whispered to him “It is okay to let go.  You have given us a great life, you have been the best husband and father, and we love you.  Don’t worry about us we will be fine” He finally stopped breathing and when his heart stopped the warmth left the room, but the presence of Lord was still in that room! At that very moment, I knew that Jesus came and escorted my Michael home.  He knew that we would be in good hands.  That was two years ago and life does and have found a way to go on and move forward.  More about that in later blogs.

I have made many posting on Facebook that I will go back and publish here.  As I have stated in the beginning my sole purpose is to help others the only way I know, by telling my own story.  I will always try to be open, honest, and upfront about my feelings, what I am going though, and my grief process.  I pray that you find this helpful and please share if you feel so inclined.  If you need prayer, someone to talk to, or just an understanding ear to listen, please contact me.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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