From the Pit to a Firm Foundation

From the Pit to a Firm Foundation

Thursday, September 17, 2020

I lived in a dark hole.  In a pit with my 3 D’s, desperation, depression, and despair.

A voice stifled…

I often think of all the little girls and boys who had their voices stifled at a young age.

Our innocents are stolen and taken away.

Our souls are broken and shattered.

Our spirits are tainted and corrupted.

Our lives are marked for destruction.

Our relationships are compromised before they start.

Our happiness is fake.

Our joy is nonexistent.

We had to learn how to survive.

We had to learn how to live.

Our lives were literally put on hold.

But there is hope… and that hope is JESUS.

Viola Davis said, “The two most important days in your life is the day you were born and the day you discovered why you were born”  To those of us that have been abused, bullied, talked about, and or mistreated, finding a reason to live or to go on is difficult.  

When construction on a house starts most times, a hole is dug to pour the concrete for the foundation. This step is crucial because if you have a week foundation, your house or building could fall or crumble.

“He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation of the rock.  And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built” (Luke6:48).

When I was young, my Uncle Homer and Auntie Perk took me to church and introduced me to GOD.  I did not know that their actions would not only change my life; it would one day save the life of my family.  Their efforts purchased the plot for my foundation.

I went to church, Sunday school, Bible study, choir rehearsal, Junior Usher Board practice, and I still did not completely understand what or who God was in my life.  Baptized at the age of 12, I believe this is where my foundation was poured; God filled my dark pit.   Now, change was not sudden and definitely did not happen overnight. As a matter of fact, it took years of mistakes and bad decisions.  However, as I started to build my house no matter what happened, my foundation stood firm and withstood the test of time. 

I have had many trials and hardships in my life that continued to test this foundation.  Over the years, I have strengthened my relationship with the Lord, thus fortifying my foundation.  Many of my houses have fallen and crumbled, but because of my firm foundation, I was able to build, rebuild, and rebuild. This last trial almost took my life and shook my foundation to the core. As I wanted to die and crawl under my foundation, as I thought my foundation would be blown away, as I thought my foundation would crumble, it stood firm. 

“But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come, and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash” (Matthew 7:26-27)

It stood strong because it was fortified by the Blood of JESUS CHRIST. 

I have screamed…

I have gotten angry…

I have cried…

I wanted to give up…

But my GOD remained steadfast and loyal to me, and for some reason, HE would not let me go! 

As my oldest daughter and I quietly celebrated my late husband’s life without many tears and anguish, I realized that I have grown.  I have accepted the will of GOD, and I have learned to live and move forward. Yes, my therapy played a tremendous role in my progression, but without the grace of GOD, I would still be in my pit of the 3D’s that the devil planned for me.  Because of JESUS, I went from living in a pit of desperation, depression, and despair to standing on the firm foundation that the LORD has planned for me.  I will continue to set my mind on the things above.

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on the things above, not things on earth” (Colossians 3:1-2)

I am far from perfect, and I know I will have many more trials ahead. However, I take hope in knowing that my strength lies solely with the LORD and his plans for me and my life. 

I am ready

I am willing

Thank GOD, I am still here to be able!

God Blessings!

I love you all!

May you always find your blessing in the storm.

I KNOW…

I KNOW…

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

My Wednesday night Facebook prayer group prayed about the healing and restoration power of Jesus.

There was a time in my life that I did not know where I was going.
I did not know if I would make it through the next second, let alone the next day.

I did not know how my daughters or I would survive.

I did not know to sleep without crying myself to sleep.

I did not know what to do when people who loved me turned their backs on me.

I did not know what happened to my future, my promises, my hopes, my dreams.

I did not know how to get up out of the pit the devil created for me.

All I did know was fear, doubt, anger, disbelief, sadness, pain, and sorrow.

I may have forgotten where comes my help.

I may have for a moment forgotten who I belong to…

But I know a Healer!
I know my Provider!
I know my Deliver!
I know my Waymaker!
I know my Provider!
I know my Ultimate Friend!
I know my Miracle Maker
I know my Comforter!
I know my Promise Keeper
I know WHO holds my future!
I know the GREAT I AM!
I know JESUS!!

Thank you, JESUS, because… I know that HE healed my broken spirit and my soul!

Thank you, JESUS, because… I know that HE healed my broken heart!

Thank you, JESUS, because… I know HE made a way when I could not see it!

Thank you, JESUS, because… I know that HE yanked me out of my pit!

Thank you, JESUS, because… I know that HE can do the same for you!

I know that you NEED to trust HIM!
I know that you allow HIM to love on you!

I know that GOD has a purpose and a plan for your life!

I know that you need to let HIM into your life!

I know that HE will bless your life!
I know that JESUS loves you with agape love!

I know that there is NOTHING that you can do to keep HIM from love you!

I need you to know that GOD is waiting to welcome you with open arms!

I need you to know that HE is ready to forgive you!

I know that if I did not have that foundation built on the blood of JESUS, I would have never survived the darkest moment of my life.
All you need to do is call out to HIM and ask HIM into your life.
Allow JESUS to heal and bless you. I promise you… you will NEVER be the same.

If you would like to join us on Wednesday nights, please let me know!

I love you all,
Have a Blessed night

Expectations

August 17, 2020

Expectations is a belief that someone will or should achieve something

I did not get a chance to snap a picture of my soon to be 2021 graduate, Morgan when she left to head back for her senior year. If you know Morgan, I should not expect that she will send me a picture! Lol

Her Senior year in Highschool was not what we expected, but we made the best of it.

I can’t help but think back to this picture when Michael, ShaRonda, and I dropped her off for her freshman year in August 2016.   We were excited for her and hopeful for her future and our future as a family.  We tried our best to make that day just as exciting and memorable as we could. 

That year quickly changed into something that we could not fathom. We had such high expectations for this year…

But God does have a powerful way of taking you reluctantly through your trials, whether you want to go or not.  

Is the life that I am living what I expected?   Nope…

Did the expectations of our lives crush our goals, hopes, and dreams?  Yep, for a moment…

Do I still live my life in excitedly in expectation? By the grace of GOD, yes, I do!

You see, I TOLD pits of HELL, NO, 4 years ago it couldn’t have my daughters or me!!

God took the hopeless despair and disbelief in my life and turned it into high expectation!

I was reminded to today when I woke up in funk…. Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:2-3)

I was also reminded of a few of the many promise that GOD has for me when I was hopeless!

 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off. (Proverbs 23:18)

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. (Psalm 62:5)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)

Call to me and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known. (Jeremiah 33:3)

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us.(Ephesians 3:20)

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

I am very proud of Morgan’s perseverance through the years. God has blessed her, and she is a survivor!

As I look back on the last four years, what could have killed us, GOD thrived us!

What could have destroyed us, GOD, restored us!

What should have left us in despair, GOD left us expecting HIS GREAT! THANK YOU, JESUS,!!

I am here to tell you that GOD has a plan. It may not be the plan we laid out for ourselves, but just know all you need to do is to continue to trust in HIM. IF you don’t know The GOD I am talking about, I highly suggest that you get to know HIM today. We are living in uncertain times…but we DO NOT have an uncertain GOD!

God is always right on time!

My prayers are with all of us parents sending children back to school, virtually, or to a brick and mortar building. I pray for our children, their teachers, staff, school administrators and city, state, national officials for the tough decisions that have been made and those that have yet to be made. I pray that the love, grace, and mercy of GOD covers us all. I love you, LORD, in JESUS name, AMEN!

Have a Blessed Day!

I love you all

Faith & Trust – Fear

Wednesday, 20 May 2020

It has been a while since I have blogged, and I have resisted writing this blog post.  God has been speaking to me about trust, and it has been the topic of our prayer line and others. I did not know what I wanted to say, but when God is tugging at your spirit, you must submit, or at least I submit.

You would think that with COVID-19 and the stay at home orders life would have slowed down for me.  I am blessed to work from home, but I am also a part-time graduate student, and I still had duties to my church, community, and sorority.  I have often wondered how I was maintaining before.

“But GOD” 

As I sit here and ponder about the states and cities opening back up and can’t help but wonder if it is too soon.  I don’t go out much, and I must admit I do panic a little when I go to certain grocery stores.  I try to stick to shopping at the commissary and the BX on the fort.  They have handled this crisis with military order and professionalism.

Our nation is trying to go back to normal, but what is normal?  I don’t think that we will ever be normal. So, what are our choices?   We can choose to live in fear or have faith and trust God.  Let’s talk about the latter.

2nd Timothy says God has not given us a spirit of fear but of love, peace, and a sound mind. 

Fear does not come from the Lord. 

I have tried to write this blog since last week, and I could not put the words together. But earlier this week, one of my prayer leaders spoke about praise and then another day trust.  He said, “Praise is justified just because it is!” He also stated, “We must trust and have faith in God.”

For what I have experienced in my life, I have learned to have faith and trust God.  I have also learned how to praise him while I am expecting.

While I was in the deep state of depression
While I was going through the early stages of grief
While I did not know how to pray for myself
When I did not want to live
When I did not know how I would make it to the next day
When I could not stop crying

One thing I finally realized was that God had NOT forgotten me!

He felt every painF887936E-8141-41ED-8060-0D3BF026BDF2
He grieved with me
He pleaded for me
He kept me alive
He made sure I made it to the next moment
He consoled and cared for me when I was crying

God did all of this for me, but I had to let go of my fear of living and have faith and trust that God would carry me through it all.

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It did not matter what I faced; I had to press on, and I had to persevere.  I had to survive and live, but first, I had to TRUST.

 

 

 

So, I ask you today, no matter what if going on in your life.
No matter what situation you are facing
No matter what the world or the doctors are saying.

Whose report will you believe?

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So, ask you today…

Faith & Trust or Fear? The choice is always yours.

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I love you all
Be Blessed in the Lord

 

Triumph or Defeat

May 20, 2020

The face you see in this picture is the face of Triumph!

Thank you, Jesus

Faith Under Pressure
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So, don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work, so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
James 1:2-4 MSG

How are you going to respond to the cross you have to bear today?

How will you respond to what you are going through today?

We were asked those questions on the prayer line this week.

When I was a baby, my father left.
At the age of 4, I lost my mother to cancer.
At the age of 12, I lost one of the good men in my life, my grandfather.
Somewhere during those years, I was abused by a family friend. (I told no one)
In 2000 my grandmother, who raised me, passed.
In 2002 my mother-in-love passed.
In 2007 I lost my auntie, who helped raised me.
In 2015 I lost my uncle, who was like a dad to me passed.
In 2016 I became a widow after 29 years of marriage at the age of 50.

At this point, I thought I was going to lose my mind, because what was my reason to go on. I kept thinking I had lost everyone in my life that I could depend on and who loved me.  I felt alone and defeated.

BUT I WAS NOT…

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Sometime, somehow in my life, Jesus deeply rooted his power deep within my soul because he knew that I would need to access that power one day.

When I look back over my life after all the loss, abuse, devastation, I was never alone because God was always with me.  I had to tap into the power that was rooted in my soul so many years ago.  I triumph and was not defeated because I had reconnected to Jesus.
I don’t know how people live through pain and tragedy without Jesus.

Here we are today morning as a nation with the entire world.
How will you react? How will you survive? How will you existent?

Will you allow yourself to wallow in self-pity, disappointment, fear, or defeatism?

OR

Will you choose to live in expectation, victory, success, rejoicing, and praising?

You tell me, will you live in triumph or defeat?

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Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ
2nd Corinthians 2:14

I love you all!
Be Blessed in the Lord!

LIVE and LOVE HARD!! Follow Your Dreams! 

Time is precious… DON’T WASTE IT!

Friday, 31 January 2020

Family,

It took me some time to make this post. I needed to take stock of my own emotions regarding the death of Kobe Bryant and his 13-year-old daughter Gianna. I needed to make sure what I wanted to say was not stated with too much emotion. I wanted to write a sound commentary.

I am reminded of a scripture that Morgan’s Sorority sisters gave to her when her dad passed. This scripture became one that I have stood on. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18 NIV).

I can’t say that I have followed Kobe’s career like some, but have sports fanatics in my family, so I definitely know who he was. I cannot even start to say, and I know Vanessa’s pain because I have both my daughters. However, for many widows, when you hear of another sister losing her husband, you can help but feel a stab in your own heart. I felt the need to say something to my circle, by my base, my family, to the people who I think listen to me.

It does not matter who the person is, or their celebrity status, or how much money a person has. This does not negate the fact that Vanessa Bryant lost TWO people that she loved with her heart and soul. She is grieving, and she is still going to be strong and present for her daughters because that’s what mothers do.

Let me tell you this, death and grief cross every ethnic, economic, religious, social, background in this universe! Can you name me one area, person, nation, or community that has not been affected by death?

Do you really think that because someone has money that their grief is less than anyone else?

Do you really think that because a person is famous that their grief is different?

Please tell me how their pain and grief are different? IT IS NOT!

If anything, it can be worse. They are forced to grieve and process their loss in the eye of the hypocritical, insincere, and unforgiving public!

I would love to say I am surprised and shocked by the many negatives posts and comments I have read since Sunday afternoon. However, I sadden to say that I am not. Everything from TMZ releasing information before the families were informed, the misinformation regarding who was on the helicopter, the reporter who felt the need to bring up his past just 2 HOURS after his death, to people and their insensitive comments, was insensitive and morally wrong!

I am sick of all of the negativity in our country!!

You can’t compare death or how the world responds to the death of someone who is well known by the world. The climate of the world we live in today and the spitefulness of our country leaders has made it acceptable for people to “tell it like it is,” regardless of how it could affect someone else.

I wish I could say I have never seen so much disrespect in this country. That would be a lie. For many of us, it has been going on for years, but social media has just elevated the cruelty to the front lines.

To those of us that may have widows or widowers in our communities, it is my prayer that you not only think before you attempt of comfort, but please pray first. You would not believe the many messages I have received, or things said to me in person about how they feel I should grieve, survive, live my life, and other ill-advised advice. I am not trying to be ungrateful or seem unappreciative, but no one other than the LORD can look out for my children and me better than me. I truly thank God every day for the genuine, sincere people in my village.

Just a simple statement of “I am praying for you,” or you are in my thoughts and prayer,” will go a long way.

People who are grieving all grieve differently and time is NOT a factor. It is not up to us to decide when it is time for them to “get over it or move on.” That is their OWN process, and it is not determined by time. It is between them and God.

Vanessa and her family will need her time to process all of this. They have a long road ahead of them. What little I do know about Kobe and Vanessa is that they were believers, and they were raising their daughters to have faith in God. I am sure Vanessa has a great support system with family and friends and their church. God, faith, family, friends, and church are the components in my life that are seeing me through. I am sure that she will lean on those elements to see her and her daughters through this.

This will not be easy, and this phase of her life is probably the most challenging she has ever had to deal with. More importantly, in time, she will get through this.

In time she will find it easier to wake up every day with promise.

In time she will look into the eyes of her babies and not break out into tears.

In time she will find her new purpose for her life and walk in that purpose.

In time as time and life move on, she will learn to move forward.

In time she will become stronger, and she is now gaining strength every day!

But in the meantime, my prayer for the Bryant family is that they stay close to God. I pray that they reach out when they have a need, and trust God to get them thought this. He is there, He has always been there, and he will NEVER leave their sides.

For those of us who are watching and praying… LIVE and LOVE HARD!! Follow your dreams! 

You are NEVER too old to dream!

Live and love those around you!

Tell them you love them and that you appreciate them EVERY DAY!!

LOVE
FORGIVE
LOVE
LIVE

Live life with no regrets!

We don’t know how much time we have left on this earth, but I do know that that time is precious!

DON’T WASTE IT!

Trust God

His results are amazing!
Thursday, January 23, 2020

Hey Beloveds,

Of Course, when the Lord inspires as me to write well…I write. I tried everything to make this post yesterday, but I ran up against so many roadblocks!

However, it did give me more time to think about what Minister Kai said yesterday morning about digging out of the deep, out of the darkness. This morning he talked about peace and being who God created us to be, and we can’t do that until we find the peace that only GOD can give.

Many of you know I have been in the valley of the shadow of death. I was in the bottomless pit of darkness. It was not easy digging and climbing out of that pit, but I know that I could not have done it without the Lord.

I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel, the dark pit of despair. It was easier for me to stay where I was are rather than charter to the unknown and try digging myself out. Let me tell you, staying in the dark pit is no place for us to be, and God does not want us to stay there. I had a temporary residence in this hellacious pit!

This is a place where the enemy lives and rules.

The devil loves that place because in his home in his presence…

There is disparity
There is desperateness
There is no peace
There is judgment
There is evil
There are suicidal thoughts
Everything that is the opposite of what our Father wants for us is in that bottomless dark pit of despair.

The Good News is you don’t have to stay there!
Yes, there is a way out!

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You MUST trust God through the process
You MUST lean on him
You MUST put all your faith
You MUST put hope
You MUST believe in him

 

 

 

 

I promise He will lead you out of that pit.
He will put all the necessary resources that you will need to help you get and stay out!

Please don’t give up and trust God. He has always been there. He is still here for you!
He said that HE will never leave you nor forsake you! 100% TRUTH!!

In my moments of despair and desperation, God did not leave me.
I was hurt. I was angry. I felt hopeless.
I left him. I walked away. I turned my back. I chose not to trust.
I decided to let the enemy in my head.

But God was there!
HE never left my side!
He was continually telling me that he loves me
That he has plans for me
He said that it was NOT my time

But, even during my time in the darkness, HE used me, and HE never gave up on me, and eventually, I didn’t give up on myself.
But I had a choice to make….

I had to choose to be who God created me to be, He equipped me for this time
I had to choose to dig out, but I didn’t dig out alone
I had to choose to live, but I don’t live alone
I had to choose to heal, but I did not heal alone
I had to choose to pray, but I did pray alone
I had to decide to step out on faith, but I DON’T walk alone
I have my JESUS with me every step of the way!

“Only those who believe that Jesus Christ is God’s Son can overcome the world”
                                                                                     1 John 5:4

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I overcame my circumstances because I did not give up. I fought hard, and I trusted God because HE believed in me, and I believed in JESUS!
Thank you, LORD!

I love you all!
Have a fantastic day!

JESUS JOY

Happy New Year!!!

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JESUS JOY

I am not going to blog or write about my expectations for 2020. Yes, even my daughters were shocked.

I have my goals and what I want out of 2020, but I am choosing to move silently, allowing GOD to direct my path. Anything God has for me, I am ready to receive.

However, our prayer focus for this morning was perfect, and God placed it upon my heart to share my journey to JESUS JOY.

If you have not read my post over the past 4 years or my blog, I lost my late husband in October of 2016. I suffered from depression, suicidal thoughts, feelings of worthlessness, I was an understandable mess. But God was not having it, and honestly, neither was I!

I have moved forward with my life and I have so much JOY and genuine happiness in my life!

I had to dig deep to find the Joy that God had placed in me when he formed me before I was placed in my mother’s womb. It was JESUS JOY

It is something that has carried me for the past 3 years going in my 4th year.

Year 1 Restoration
Year 2 Renewal
Year 3 Rejuvenation
Year 4 Discovery.
(I will write about these at a later date)

Joy, true JESUS JOY is rooted deep within our soul, and only Jesus can give us that pure Joy!

NO ONE can be truly happy without JESUS JOY.

I can tell you, I am a living witness… it is a facade, it is fake happiness.

The Lord saved me from my dark place, and I am not the person I was three years ago. HIS JOY was, and is definitely my strength!

Happiness in a surface emotion, but the true JESUS JOY that comes from the LORD is deeper.

It requires something from us…
It requires us to take some action…
It requires us to have something…
It requires us to be somewhere

What does it require? 

It requires us to have something… FAITH

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My faith is a foundation on which I have always stood, so holding on to my faith was not hard. I just needed to be reminded of and remind myself that God is still with me no matter what! Faith is something that does not just happen faith some after you have been through some things, and we have sought God, and he has been there. Faith is not in the CHURCH faith is IN GOD and only GOD!

It requires us to take some action… pray, petition, and or (if needed) seek therapy

We have to want Joy in our lives. I know for me I did not want to feel depressed, I knew that deep down I did not want to commit suicide, but I also knew that I had to do something about the thoughts that were tormenting my mind. I had to pray, and others were praying for me. I mention the prayer focus above that comes from a prayer line where we get together Monday through Friday morning to pray for each other, our community, and this country. The saints on that prayer line and others prayed me out of the darkness, and God let me to therapy. Believe me, both were desperately needed.

It requires something from us… total surrender

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We cannot give something over to God and keep picking it up. Ether, we give it to him and let it go, or we keep worrying about it.

Worrying will prevent you from having JESUS JOY.

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It requires us to be somewhere… In a position to receive

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JESUS JOY just won’t come and perch its self on you. It requires you to be in a position to receive it. After you have kept the faith, prayed, and given over whatever is keeping you from God’s Joy, then you are in a position to receive true JESUS JOY. It will not be easy because the enemy will try to convince us that happiness and Joy are the same things. THEY ARE NOT! He will try to convince us that we do not need JESUS JOY.

I believe we were created and born with Jesus Joy, but life circumstances will cause us to suppress it. Think about a child they are joyful. Think about a baby’s belly laugh; it will bring a smile to our face and warmth to our heart. They are experiencing pure and true JESUS JOY. It is the strength that sustains us.

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I am the poster child for choosing Joy regardless of my circumstances. I refuse to give the enemy any joy, kudos, or accolades over my life. God has been way too good for me to allow this to happen.

If I am declaring and promoting anything publicly for 2020, I am declaring that I continue I choose and promote that I still choose to have JESUS JOY over anything.

When you think about Jesus Joy, it’s clear and straightforward…

The Joy of the Lord is your strength.
(Nehemiah 8:10)

Day 10 – 10 Day Walk Out of the Valley of Darkness: No Regrets

Day 10

No Regrets

October 25, 2019

On Day 10, three years ago, on a beautiful crisp sunny Tuesday afternoon, I said goodbye to the central part of my heart. The tumor in his lung had covered his bronchial airways, and he could no longer breath on his own. He was surrounded by those who loved us. We sang his favorite songs (we struggled with some of the words lol), we read scriptures and prayed, we worshiped, and we still hoped for a miracle.

But it was God’s will to bring Michael home.

The ICU was very cold all the time. During the night, I would sleep with my coat on and warm blankets from the nurses. That afternoon there were about 20 people in the room. Most days, we had many visitors come through, and the nursing staff was always gracious to allow us to be over capacity. However, that particular morning, God was indeed in control of everything, including our environment. On that afternoon, we experienced a real miracle.
From the time we started praying, singing, and reading scripture, that room was so warm and cozy. (Remember this) We worshiped for about an hour before the signal was given to the hospice nurse to remove the respirator. Michael seemed to breathe on his own at first; then, he started to struggle… I want to yell at them to put him back on the machine, but I knew it was time for me to let him go… this is what I saw play out in my spirit…

Jesus entered the room when we started our worship. When we genuinely worship, there is always a shift in the atmosphere, and when Jesus entered, the room was warm. I believe as Michael started to struggle to breathe, the Lord was telling him it was time. He stood at the brink between going with the Lord and staying with us. I believed he looked back at us and backed at Jesus did not know what to do. I laid my head on his chest and told him that I loved him, and I was so proud of him. He fought long and hard and that he could let go because we would be fine. In the next few moments, he let go and took the hand of Jesus and when home. At that moment, the presence of the Lord was still in the room, but all of the warmth left the room with Jesus and Michael.

It is a moment that I think most of us in that room will never forget. Heaven is real, and Michael and many of our other loved ones are celebrating the day he returned home.
On Day 10, October 25, Year anytime, will always pierce my heart, and there will always be moments of sadness.

Today, I refuse to be sad and cry.
Today, I am walking out of the valley of darkness, and I am not looking back!
Today, I have a hope and a future to look forward to.
Today, I live my life with no regrets.
Today, I am allowing God to direct my path.
Today, I am attempting to live my life to the fullest.
Today, I am loved, and I do love.
Today, I continue to survive and live.
Today, I think about the happy times.
Today, I will not allow obstacles, people, situations, or circumstances to get in my way.
Today, I am living my life with no explanations to anyone

Today, God has NOT given me a spirit of fear but of love, peace, and of a sound mind!

My life is far from perfect, but my daughters and I are living life one moment at a time. We have the favor of the Lord, and we are living with no regrets.
Remember, we are not promised tomorrow.
Life is so precious and SHORT. Keep those that you love close and never fail to tell them how much you love them.

I love you all, and thank you for keeping me in your prayers!

10 Day Walk Out of the Valley of Darkness Day 4 – Decisions

Day 4 – Decisions

God will give you strength for every battle, wisdom for every decision, the peace that surpasses understanding….

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting GOD know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of GOD’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when CHRIST displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Philippians 4: 6-7 MSG)

This 4th Day 3 years ago, was overwhelming with FINAL decisions, choices, conclusions, and resolutions. Who, What, Why, When, and How were questions that had to be asked and answered.  Every tough, painful, agonizing, gut-wrenching decision made was made with GODLY wisdom, counsel, and much prayer. My future, our daughter’s future, my in-Loves (in-laws) future, our family, and friend’s futures were all at stake in our decisions. 

I had to consider and wonder about what that we were robbed of and things that will never happen. Future graduations, birthdays, and anniversaries that would be missing a heart.  Walks down the aisles, grandbabies being held and spoiled, days sitting and watching grandbabies play, futures were forever altered, and alternate realities were becoming real.

Day 4 was marked with suffering…

Yet, I was reminded not to fret or worry, and instead of worrying, pray. When I would look at this scripture over the years, I never thought it meant in a difficult circumstance like this. But you know our LORD, HE meant in all circumstances even the painful and agonizing circumstances! 

It was not easy, but I had to give it over GOD and lay it at the foot of the Cross.  I knew whatever happened. He was in control. 

This decision at this moment later saved my life…