The Ultimate Miracle

Will

October 17, 2018

Yesterday I woke up with such a heavy heart and on the verge of tears for most of the morning.  Yesterday, two years ago, that Michael was admitted to ICU and we were informed of the most devastating news of our life.  My husband of almost 29 years was on life support.  The tumor had quickly grown and covered his bronchial airways and he would never be able to survive without the machines.  We were going to lose the husband, father, son, brother, friend, mentor that we loved so much.

I can tell you sitting in the hospital room as the doctors briefed us on Michael’s prognoses, is a day I will never forget.  I felt like an inflated balloon inflated to its capacity, then someone let go of the bottom, and all of the air quickly deflated.  My heart sunk as I went back into his room and selfishly thought how we were going to survive without him.

We encouraged the doctors to run all the necessary tests and we prayed that we could beat the odds.  Each test came back with the same results.  Michael was in ICU for ten days and with each passing day is vitals became worse and the machines had to work a little more for him every day.  His organs were starting to fail has his body was physically tired and shutting down little by little.  It is a tough to know that just a few days ago, we were having conversations, making plans for the holidays, and his mind was sharp as ever, but now the body was so weak it was failing him.  We prayed, prayed, and kept hope until the moment he was off life support that he would make a miraculous recovery…

You know what; he did make a miraculous recovery!  It was the Ultimate Miracle!

IT was not what we had expected, wanted, or thought would happened, but we had always prayed for God’s will to be done throughout this whole journey, from Michael’s  diagnoses  to his heavenly transition. GOD’s will was done…

He is walking and talking with JESUS and so many other family and friends that have gone on before him.  Michael was healed perfectly that Tuesday afternoon when he walked away from that hospital bed and out of the room into the arms of JESUS!  Jesus said that is time on earth was finished and he was hearing “Well done my good and faithful servant!”  Which is supposed to be the ultimate goal for all Christians.

You see, as Christians we have to accept that GOD’s timing is not our timing, HIS thoughts are not our thoughts, and HIS ways are not our ways! (THANK GOD!)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

I cannot write this Blog and tell you that this has been a cakewalk and I never shed a tear.  WRONG!
I have cried until my head ached…
I have screamed until my voice was horse (Those poor people at the cemetery)…
I have been angry with GOD, Michael, the doctors, the Military, and myself…
I have been in a dark and desolate place where I did not want to live…
I have tried to drink the pain way…
I have tried to ignore the pain…

However, through GOD I am surviving the unthinkable and unspeakable…
Through GOD, I found comfort and peace…
Through GOD, I am using the pain to help myself and others heal…
Through GOD, I got my joy back…
Through GOD, I wanted to live and love again…
Through GOD, I am happy, healthy, and whole…

Yesterday did get better!  I refused to let the devil have any glory in my day.  God will always place people in your life at the time when you need them the most.  My support system is A+!  My village is amazing! By the end of the day, I was smiling!  I went to with joy and left with conformation of something that I already knew… I have the victory because JESUS has already won the battle for me.  We just need to plug into it to activate it!

I love you all!
Have an Amazing Day!

Dear Future, I Am Ready

 

October 15, 2018

As I was reflecting back on this weekend events, I had a great weekend! I had dinner, movies, (anticipated Venom, the critics were wrong!) and games with my girls.  I worked my side hustle (Premier Designs Jewelry) and fellowship with some awesome sisters.  We also braved the cold weather and participated in a walk that was in remembrance of their dad and my late husband Michael David Law.  He was an amazing husband, father, son, brother, uncle, friend, and mentor.  He was a big advocate for the education and the empowerment of our youth.   His Fraternity, The Pi Omicron Lambda Chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity sponsors the Leavenworth Awareness Walk, (LAW Walk) this was the 2nd year for this annual event.  This event is in two parts, to continue his work for raising scholarship money for deserving High school seniors.  Different organizations in the community to network with each other, find out what we do in and for the community, and how we can help each other.

It was very surreal as a looked around during the event.  I was in a very different mindset the first year.  I was feeling physically and emotionally drained, uncertain about my future and the future of my girls.  I was energized at the people who came out to support the walk, donated, and some just because they knew Michael.

This year’s walk I have grown and I am taking control of my life.  I have a lot of work to do but, I am stronger, I am confident that I can achieve anything I put my mind to!  Because God said that, I can do all things through Christ who gives me all the strength I need.  I have an awesome village, my support system of people, who love and care about my family and our well being. Mostly I have my Father in heaven who has always had me in the palm his hand from day one!  I was never alone and neither are you!

I saw a quote one day that says, “Grief never ends. Nevertheless, it changes.  It is a passage, not a place to stay.  Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith.  It is the price of love.”  My girls and I are walking with our heads held high into year two of this grief journey/passage.  Our faith in GOD is the only thing that has kept us standing along this journey. There were times when I did not know if I was going to make it through the next second not to mention year two! I could not think, breath, and I did not want to live.  However, here I am surviving, strong, confident, and I am living the best life that I know how to live.  I have reached lifelong milestones in the last two years.  Guess what?  GOD is not through with me yet!  He still has much work for me, but I am ready.

Dear Past, Thanks for all the lessons!
Dear future, I am ready!
I am ready for the next phase, the new chapter in my life!
I am ready for what God has for me!
I am ready to be all that HE wants me to be!
I am ready!  Are you?

 

My Why…

Thanks for joining me!

My name is Lolita Law and I live in a small town in Kansas. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and in May of 2017, after 9 long years, I earned my Bachelor’s degree in Biblical and Theological Studies. (I am thinking of getting my Masters… I am praying about that and funding).  I am also a widow of 2 years.  This is where my journey to “Finding Blessings in the Middle Of Grief and Suffering” begins.  God has led me to help others that may be on a similar journey.  First, let me give you a little back-story…

In March of 2016, my husband, Michael, was diagnosed with Advance Staged Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer. After 7 months of doctors’ appointments hospital visits and many hospitalizations, my soulmate of 28 years went home to be with the Lord, October 25, 2016 at 2:19, on beautiful sunny day at the age of 48. We were devastated and totally caught off guard and this left my girls and myself in shock.  My daughter ShaRonda was 27 and my youngest daughter Morgan was 18 and a freshman in collage. My father-in-love, Pop Skipp (with 2 p’s) flew in just hours before Michael was admitted to ICU, heavily sedated, and placed on a respirator.  The next 10 days family and friends came and we sat, talked, and sang to him while we waited for the doctors to do their jobs and for God to work a miracle.

We had many miracles that happened during this time.  The ICU never allows more than three visitors in the room… there were times we had up to 10 at a time and the day he transitioned we had over 15 people in the room! I remember one morning the Doctors that came in saw a prayer cloth on his chest and remarked about that they were Christians and they admired our commitment to keeping Michael covered in prayer, but also at the same time honoring God.  The nursing staff that attended to him always made sure they worked around the prayer cloth, asked questions giving us a chance to witness to them.

Finally, the Doctors told us there was nothing else they could do.  The tumor had blocked his bronchial airways and he was now considered on life support, and some of his organs were beginning to shut down.  The cancer was continuing to spread and he was no longer able to receive treatments.  My daughters, Pop Skipp, and I prayed and talked and we made the hardest decision we ever had to make for towards a husband, father, and son.  We decided to take him off life support and allow the Lord’s will be done.  We let our family and friends know about our decision, giving them a chance to say their good bye and a choice to be there the afternoon we removed the machines.  In all of this, we were still hopeful for a miracle. We sang, prayed read scriptures, and talked about Michael’s life.  The ICU room was always freezing and that afternoon it was so warm in the room.  We knew that the Lord was there.  When the hospice nurse took him off the respirator I laid my head on my beloved chest, (I had to hear the moment he took a deep breath or if his heart stopped).  During that time, I could just picture Michael was standing at the threshold between earth and heaven, looking back and forth between us and then to JESUS trying to decide, and I believe Jesus extended his hand and told him, “they will be okay it’s your time.”  I whispered to him “It is okay to let go.  You have given us a great life, you have been the best husband and father, and we love you.  Don’t worry about us we will be fine” He finally stopped breathing and when his heart stopped the warmth left the room, but the presence of Lord was still in that room! At that very moment, I knew that Jesus came and escorted my Michael home.  He knew that we would be in good hands.  That was two years ago and life does and have found a way to go on and move forward.  More about that in later blogs.

I have made many posting on Facebook that I will go back and publish here.  As I have stated in the beginning my sole purpose is to help others the only way I know, by telling my own story.  I will always try to be open, honest, and upfront about my feelings, what I am going though, and my grief process.  I pray that you find this helpful and please share if you feel so inclined.  If you need prayer, someone to talk to, or just an understanding ear to listen, please contact me.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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Telling It How It Could Be

6/20/2018

Don’t tell it like it is, tell it how it could be, how GOD wants it to be.

We were told on this morning’s Prayer Line to speak in faith in our lives means speaking life, power, and positivity into any situation, no matter how dire it might be.

I could have and still could easily and understandably spoke negativity in to my situation. Most people would have understood and expected it.  I had my questions, fears, and doubts, but I never lost my faith.

Michael set this all in to motion when he wrote his first “Ground Truth” He spoke of being upfront, honest, and open about his diagnoses and treatment.  He thought it could help someone in a difficult situation.

I kept the same mindset when the doctors told us there was nothing else they could do for him.  My family and I put our faith, hope, and trust in GOD and let HIM take control.  My prayer was that I would accept whatever GOD had planned.

When my life changed drastically and I felt as if I would never breathe again, think again, function again, but I still had FAITH!  Nothing has changed…

Almost 2 years from the date that Michael transition to be with the Lord I still have faith and I still trust GOD!

 “Abraham trusted that GOD could do what only GOD could do, and he became a father.  When everything was hopeless, he believed GOD anyway.  He decided not to live on the basis of what he saw he saw that he couldn’t do, but on what GOD said he would do!”  (Romans 4:17-18)

I STILL HAVE FAITH
I STILL TRUST GOD!!!
I STILL SPEAK LIFE, POWER, AND POSITIVITY!

We live in a world with so much negativity so we, the children of GOD, are the light in the darkness.  We must be the keepers of FAITH, LOVE, POSITIVITY, and HOPE.  We need to be excited about what GOD is going to do in our lives!  Regardless of the world’s colored glasses…

No matter how hard it seems we must see things in our life the way God sees them, and through FAITH believe that GOD will work all things out!

Stand back and just let GOD work!

I love you all!
Have a Blessed DAY!

LOVE HARD!

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5/25/2018

I just heard today another dear Sister in Christ loss her beloved today… My head is spinning in so many different direction and thoughts. However, I have come to realize this….

Life is too short to miss out on being happy.

We need to LOVE HARD and take chances even if it means being uncomfortable or rejected.

We only have this one life on earth and WE must TRUST GOD!
ALLOW HIM to LEAD us, then we must make the best out of this life that we can!
Live well!
Hug a little longer!
Love a little stronger!
Forgive as if you were never offended!
Tell people you LOVE THEM!
Give them flowers NOW!
Do not let people or YOURSELF tell you what you cannot do!!
Let negative people GO! KICK THEM ALL TO THE CURB!

What is your passion? What fuels you? What motivates you? What are YOU waiting for?
Whatever that is, FIND IT, PRAY about IT and then GO FOR IT! GOD HAS YOU and the devil is a defeated adversary!! (HE KNOWS IT!)

“GOD did not give us a spirit of fear but of LOVE, PEACE, and a SOUND MIND!!” (2 Timothy 1:7)

HE said, “We can do ALL THINGS though CHRIST who gives us strength! (Philippians 4:13)

Louis Tomlinson said, “Live life for the moment because everything else is uncertain

Celebrate everything no matter how small or trivial! Celebrate them all!!
Call me and I will celebrate with you!!!
Life is too short and tomorrow is NOT guaranteed!

I truly do LOVE you all!
Have a Blessed Day in the LORD!

It Is Well With My Soul

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5/17/2018

This morning on the prayer line, I was reminded like Jacob, that I had to painfully and expectantly bury the love of my life.  When Rachel was dying, she gave her son a name that meant “pain”, but Jacob renamed their son to a name that means “Good Fortune”.  (Genesis 35:18)

No matter what season you are in GOD is there and you have to turn this season over to HIM to survive.  Therefore, like Jacob I also decided to rename my season of sorrow and grief to a season of Blessings, Grace, Mercy, Faith, Hope, and Love.

Do not disregard you season of sadness or grief. Remember what greatness came from the children of Jacob and Rachel.

Although my soul is in pain
Although my heart is still broken
Although the enemy is still attacking
Although I sometimes do not know my direction
Although the loneliness and silence is sometimes anguishing
Although I still reach out to….
Although I have to visit a cemetery
Although it is still so very hard

I refused to give in to the enemy!
I cannot and I WILL NOT!

My love for GOD and my FAITH in GOD will never let me yield to the enemy!

Lord please continue to hold me in the palm of your hands.

No matter what this looks like to me on the outside help me to always see you through my pain.  Even now Lord, I thank you that through the storms, in the eye of the hurricane, in the middle of the tornado’s funnel there is a beautiful calmness that reminds me that YOUR JOY and YOUR PEACE is just on the other side.

Help me to hold on to those moments.

Help me to remember this when I want to give up and be done!

Help me to continue to hold on just a little while longer.

Help me to know and remember that because of you “It Is Well with My Soul”

I Love you all!
Have a truly Blessed Day!

There is GOOD NEWS!!!

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5/4/2018

On this particular morning, at the beginning of May, we were given a challenge to share the good news of Christ on our social media pages.

Now, I have never been afraid to express my feeling about what the Lord has done in my life when times are good.  However, it had been a great challenge to continue to do so especially during tough season.  However, I do so knowing that no matter what GOD is always with me and HE HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME! SO I WILL continue to TALK and TELL ABOUT THE GOODNESS OF THE LORD whenever HE leads me to do so.

When I am facing a challenge, or going through the most difficult time in my life, there has ALWAYS been a blessing in the storm.  Sometimes I did not see it and GOD has used others to help lift me up and see through the raging storm.

IF my story, my situation, my pain, and eventually my triumph will help, someone going through a similar circumstance, then guess what?  It is all worth it!  

Let me tell you about the enemy.  He means for us to keep quiet, keep it to ourselves.  GOD does not mean for us to keep his blessings to us to ourselves, because they should and must be shared and celebrated.  HE also does not mean for to keep our struggles to ourselves.  Just imagine the how we can receive encouragement and support and we can encourage someone else who is afraid to speak out.

“In the same way, let your light shine before people in such a way that they will see your good actions and glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16)

I am not perfect by any means, and I do not have it all together, but I do know that GOD has a plan for each of us, and we are called to be ambassadors to the unbelievers.   Paul said in Philippians, “I’ve got my eye on the goal where God is beckoning us onward –to Jesus.  I am off and running and I’m not turning back.”

I have said before I never want anyone, to walk a mile in my shoes, but has life goes on we will all face death, grief, and suffering of a loved one, even a spouse at a young age.  I want you to always remember… you are NEVER alone…  live with that JOY!

I Love you all!
Have a truly Blessed Day!

God’s GPS

January 28, 2018

God’s GPS

 

I was out at a get together on Friday night, and someone asked if things were getting better? The first thing that comes out of my mouth is “No.”

Is this a conditioned response?

Is it a safe response?

Or am Just used to saying “no”?

Because of the way my GOD is set up,

and the way HE designed me,

and because of who HE is in me…

my response should have been YES!

As I told my teens this morning… “Put your hope, faith, and trust in God, and HE will never send you in the wrong direction!”

HIS GPS (God’s Positioning System)

It is the best on the market! If we trust HIM:

It never malfunctions, nor will it send us down a dead-end street!

It can get us home from anywhere with any satellite disruption!

If we get off the path, HE “recalculates” by showing us grace and mercy!

Then HE gets us back on the right road!

GOD’S GPS is forever programmed to take us to success, prosperity, and future blessings!

We do not have to key in any coordinates! They were already present before we were born!

HE Knows me!

HE knows how much I can handle!

HE loves me unconditionally with an everlasting love!

I truly don’t know how people survive life

without HIM!

My life is FAR from perfect, but I can look around, and with my trust in GOD, I know that it is getting better!

😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

Have a blessed

I love you all