Faith & Trust – Fear

Wednesday, 20 May 2020

It has been a while since I have blogged, and I have resisted writing this blog post.  God has been speaking to me about trust, and it has been the topic of our prayer line and others. I did not know what I wanted to say, but when God is tugging at your spirit, you must submit, or at least I submit.

You would think that with COVID-19 and the stay at home orders life would have slowed down for me.  I am blessed to work from home, but I am also a part-time graduate student, and I still had duties to my church, community, and sorority.  I have often wondered how I was maintaining before.

“But GOD” 

As I sit here and ponder about the states and cities opening back up and can’t help but wonder if it is too soon.  I don’t go out much, and I must admit I do panic a little when I go to certain grocery stores.  I try to stick to shopping at the commissary and the BX on the fort.  They have handled this crisis with military order and professionalism.

Our nation is trying to go back to normal, but what is normal?  I don’t think that we will ever be normal. So, what are our choices?   We can choose to live in fear or have faith and trust God.  Let’s talk about the latter.

2nd Timothy says God has not given us a spirit of fear but of love, peace, and a sound mind. 

Fear does not come from the Lord. 

I have tried to write this blog since last week, and I could not put the words together. But earlier this week, one of my prayer leaders spoke about praise and then another day trust.  He said, “Praise is justified just because it is!” He also stated, “We must trust and have faith in God.”

For what I have experienced in my life, I have learned to have faith and trust God.  I have also learned how to praise him while I am expecting.

While I was in the deep state of depression
While I was going through the early stages of grief
While I did not know how to pray for myself
When I did not want to live
When I did not know how I would make it to the next day
When I could not stop crying

One thing I finally realized was that God had NOT forgotten me!

He felt every painF887936E-8141-41ED-8060-0D3BF026BDF2
He grieved with me
He pleaded for me
He kept me alive
He made sure I made it to the next moment
He consoled and cared for me when I was crying

God did all of this for me, but I had to let go of my fear of living and have faith and trust that God would carry me through it all.

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It did not matter what I faced; I had to press on, and I had to persevere.  I had to survive and live, but first, I had to TRUST.

 

 

 

So, I ask you today, no matter what if going on in your life.
No matter what situation you are facing
No matter what the world or the doctors are saying.

Whose report will you believe?

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So, ask you today…

Faith & Trust or Fear? The choice is always yours.

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I love you all
Be Blessed in the Lord

 

Where Do You Stand?

Where Do You Stand?

5 February 2020

I am going to say something that may not be popular, but oh well.

I may lose some Facebook friends and some “friends,” but oh well…

If I have to think and act like you then… You were not my friend anyway!

You can delete me, or I can remove you… not an issue!

Well, I am not sitting back watching in the wings any longer! I will no longer bite my tongue.

I made a post earlier that said it only takes one person to change the world….

I have always been careful about what I post. I don’t demean or drag anyone in social media.

I am tired of we as a people and as a nation sitting back quietly while the morals in this country go to hell in a handbasket!

I am tired of posts by myself, or others getting attacked every time we oppose this leader, and no one comes to our defense! Silence IS acceptance!

I am tired of preaching and teaching my kids and my church babies that they need to do what is right, and they always need to treat people with respect, and yet it is not mirrored by our leaders. Then we are asked why?

I am tired of sitting by and watching people criticize anything someone says or does. Still, when Trump, the leader of this nation, demeans on social media and in national appearances, it is excused or ignored.

He has degraded a decorated war hero, mocked someone with a disability on national TV– 16-year-old child--, and the Central Park Exonerated. He has called women everything but their names, and even insinuated that a widow’s husband was in hell looking up at her! If we teach and tell our kids this is wrong, then why is it tolerated for this President?

People who I know to be God-fearing Christians stand by and never make a single post when this man is attacking someone in the most unchristian like way. But they are ready to drag Nancy Pelosi and anyone else though the mud when they oppose him. Posting demeaning memes is a characteristic of who? What would Jesus do?

Where is the grace?

Before anyone says it is not the same thing… What would you do if your child’s school called and said your child was behaving in this manner?

I know mine had better NOT EVER!!!

Posting about what happened during the State of the Union…. Don’t think that we have not forgotten behavior that was exhibited by the Republicans when President Obama gave his State of the Union addresses.

You said nothing when Michelle Obama, who is a Harvard and Princeton graduate, had a stellar law career, and also just earned her Ph.D. was dragged and attacked about the way she looked or for wearing short sleeves. You said nothing when she was called out of her name, and even her daughters were attacked. In fact, some laughed. But you give the current First Lady high praise when she has…. (I won’t also mention such vulgarities here). Don’t even get me started on Obama’s birth certificate and Trump’s taxes.

My point is…

I have been voting for a long time, and I have not agreed with everything any president has done. Until this current administration, I have always held all of our presidents in the highest regard.

HOWEVER, I have said this before, and I will keep saying it. As a Christian, educated, black woman, I will never support anyone regardless of their race, creed, religious affiliation, or political party who is morally corrupt! I do, and I will continue to pray for this President and the leaders of our nation, but I will NOT support, make excuses, nor condone what he does.

I will continue to pray, fight, and speak up like my ancestors did before me. 

I will work to ensure that the civil rights and voting rights of all Americans stay intact and are respected.

I will not be silent. 

I will not back down. 

I chose to fight for the people whose voices cannot be heard. 

I do and will always choose love!

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.

Where do you stand?

Trust God

His results are amazing!
Thursday, January 23, 2020

Hey Beloveds,

Of Course, when the Lord inspires as me to write well…I write. I tried everything to make this post yesterday, but I ran up against so many roadblocks!

However, it did give me more time to think about what Minister Kai said yesterday morning about digging out of the deep, out of the darkness. This morning he talked about peace and being who God created us to be, and we can’t do that until we find the peace that only GOD can give.

Many of you know I have been in the valley of the shadow of death. I was in the bottomless pit of darkness. It was not easy digging and climbing out of that pit, but I know that I could not have done it without the Lord.

I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel, the dark pit of despair. It was easier for me to stay where I was are rather than charter to the unknown and try digging myself out. Let me tell you, staying in the dark pit is no place for us to be, and God does not want us to stay there. I had a temporary residence in this hellacious pit!

This is a place where the enemy lives and rules.

The devil loves that place because in his home in his presence…

There is disparity
There is desperateness
There is no peace
There is judgment
There is evil
There are suicidal thoughts
Everything that is the opposite of what our Father wants for us is in that bottomless dark pit of despair.

The Good News is you don’t have to stay there!
Yes, there is a way out!

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You MUST trust God through the process
You MUST lean on him
You MUST put all your faith
You MUST put hope
You MUST believe in him

 

 

 

 

I promise He will lead you out of that pit.
He will put all the necessary resources that you will need to help you get and stay out!

Please don’t give up and trust God. He has always been there. He is still here for you!
He said that HE will never leave you nor forsake you! 100% TRUTH!!

In my moments of despair and desperation, God did not leave me.
I was hurt. I was angry. I felt hopeless.
I left him. I walked away. I turned my back. I chose not to trust.
I decided to let the enemy in my head.

But God was there!
HE never left my side!
He was continually telling me that he loves me
That he has plans for me
He said that it was NOT my time

But, even during my time in the darkness, HE used me, and HE never gave up on me, and eventually, I didn’t give up on myself.
But I had a choice to make….

I had to choose to be who God created me to be, He equipped me for this time
I had to choose to dig out, but I didn’t dig out alone
I had to choose to live, but I don’t live alone
I had to choose to heal, but I did not heal alone
I had to choose to pray, but I did pray alone
I had to decide to step out on faith, but I DON’T walk alone
I have my JESUS with me every step of the way!

“Only those who believe that Jesus Christ is God’s Son can overcome the world”
                                                                                     1 John 5:4

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I overcame my circumstances because I did not give up. I fought hard, and I trusted God because HE believed in me, and I believed in JESUS!
Thank you, LORD!

I love you all!
Have a fantastic day!

Day 10 – 10 Day Walk Out of the Valley of Darkness: No Regrets

Day 10

No Regrets

October 25, 2019

On Day 10, three years ago, on a beautiful crisp sunny Tuesday afternoon, I said goodbye to the central part of my heart. The tumor in his lung had covered his bronchial airways, and he could no longer breath on his own. He was surrounded by those who loved us. We sang his favorite songs (we struggled with some of the words lol), we read scriptures and prayed, we worshiped, and we still hoped for a miracle.

But it was God’s will to bring Michael home.

The ICU was very cold all the time. During the night, I would sleep with my coat on and warm blankets from the nurses. That afternoon there were about 20 people in the room. Most days, we had many visitors come through, and the nursing staff was always gracious to allow us to be over capacity. However, that particular morning, God was indeed in control of everything, including our environment. On that afternoon, we experienced a real miracle.
From the time we started praying, singing, and reading scripture, that room was so warm and cozy. (Remember this) We worshiped for about an hour before the signal was given to the hospice nurse to remove the respirator. Michael seemed to breathe on his own at first; then, he started to struggle… I want to yell at them to put him back on the machine, but I knew it was time for me to let him go… this is what I saw play out in my spirit…

Jesus entered the room when we started our worship. When we genuinely worship, there is always a shift in the atmosphere, and when Jesus entered, the room was warm. I believe as Michael started to struggle to breathe, the Lord was telling him it was time. He stood at the brink between going with the Lord and staying with us. I believed he looked back at us and backed at Jesus did not know what to do. I laid my head on his chest and told him that I loved him, and I was so proud of him. He fought long and hard and that he could let go because we would be fine. In the next few moments, he let go and took the hand of Jesus and when home. At that moment, the presence of the Lord was still in the room, but all of the warmth left the room with Jesus and Michael.

It is a moment that I think most of us in that room will never forget. Heaven is real, and Michael and many of our other loved ones are celebrating the day he returned home.
On Day 10, October 25, Year anytime, will always pierce my heart, and there will always be moments of sadness.

Today, I refuse to be sad and cry.
Today, I am walking out of the valley of darkness, and I am not looking back!
Today, I have a hope and a future to look forward to.
Today, I live my life with no regrets.
Today, I am allowing God to direct my path.
Today, I am attempting to live my life to the fullest.
Today, I am loved, and I do love.
Today, I continue to survive and live.
Today, I think about the happy times.
Today, I will not allow obstacles, people, situations, or circumstances to get in my way.
Today, I am living my life with no explanations to anyone

Today, God has NOT given me a spirit of fear but of love, peace, and of a sound mind!

My life is far from perfect, but my daughters and I are living life one moment at a time. We have the favor of the Lord, and we are living with no regrets.
Remember, we are not promised tomorrow.
Life is so precious and SHORT. Keep those that you love close and never fail to tell them how much you love them.

I love you all, and thank you for keeping me in your prayers!

10 Day Walk Out of the Valley of Darkness Day 4 – Decisions

Day 4 – Decisions

God will give you strength for every battle, wisdom for every decision, the peace that surpasses understanding….

“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting GOD know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of GOD’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when CHRIST displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Philippians 4: 6-7 MSG)

This 4th Day 3 years ago, was overwhelming with FINAL decisions, choices, conclusions, and resolutions. Who, What, Why, When, and How were questions that had to be asked and answered.  Every tough, painful, agonizing, gut-wrenching decision made was made with GODLY wisdom, counsel, and much prayer. My future, our daughter’s future, my in-Loves (in-laws) future, our family, and friend’s futures were all at stake in our decisions. 

I had to consider and wonder about what that we were robbed of and things that will never happen. Future graduations, birthdays, and anniversaries that would be missing a heart.  Walks down the aisles, grandbabies being held and spoiled, days sitting and watching grandbabies play, futures were forever altered, and alternate realities were becoming real.

Day 4 was marked with suffering…

Yet, I was reminded not to fret or worry, and instead of worrying, pray. When I would look at this scripture over the years, I never thought it meant in a difficult circumstance like this. But you know our LORD, HE meant in all circumstances even the painful and agonizing circumstances! 

It was not easy, but I had to give it over GOD and lay it at the foot of the Cross.  I knew whatever happened. He was in control. 

This decision at this moment later saved my life…

One of Those Days

First, I want to say that I always write and blog when I am happy, and things are going well.  As a blogger, I always want to be truthful, transparent, intentional, and upfront. Most days, I am upbeat and ready to conquer the world. There are also “One of Those Days.”  Well, I am having one of those “Other of Those Days.”

I am having one of those days where I want to crawl back into bed and have a good cry.

I am having one of those days where everything seems to go wrong. 

Woke up late.

Trash all over the yard from the animals.

Slow cars

Back up at the gate

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I left my glasses at home.

I am having one of those days where right now, I don’t want to look on the bright side.

I am having one of those days where although it is sunny outside I feel like it is raining.

I am having one of those days where life does not seem fair.

I am having one of those days where I question my past, and every decision I have made.

I am having one of those days where I question my purpose and my existence.

I am having one of those days where nothing at all seems clear or make sense.

I am having one of those days where I don’t want to be strong.

I am having one of those days where I feel that I am not good enough.

I am having one of those days where my dark safe place starts to look good again.

I am having one of those days where I think, “What is the true meaning of life.”

I am having one of those days where old thoughts and fears want to creep back in my head.

I am having one of those days where even though I am having “One of Those Days,” I can’t reside here.

Even though I am having one of those days, I won’t allow the enemy to disrupt my progress. 

Even though I am having one of those days, I won’t give the enemy any victory over my day.

Even though I am having one of those days, I won’t fall back into the enemy trap of depression.

Even though I am having one of those days, I can see past the enemy distractions and illusions.

Even though I am having one of these days, I DO know where my help and strength comes from.

Even though I am having one of these days, I am here, surviving, thriving, and I am living.

Even though he may have gotten a moment, the battle is still won by Jesus. Therefore, I am still winning!

Blessings and Love to you all!

The Road to Restoration

Friday, August 30, 2019

My word for this Friday is Restoration. 

Restoration means a lot of things:

Refurbishment

Repair

Renewal

Rebuilding

Transformation 

Rejuvenation 

Reconstructing 

Restoring

For me, restoration means reestablishing and discovering who I am outside of who I was. I am learning to find my own way with my rules.  I can tell you in the past three years I have made tons and tons of mistakes.  There were so many things I was not aware of or had never done.  You must realize I went from my grandmother’s home to my husband’s house. My life was completely turned upside down in every single area! There are things I wish I knew, there are things I wish I hadn’t done, and many there are many things that I have done that I am very proud of. But…

 

For a while, I did whatever I wanted because I seriously was not planning on living for long.  (Don’t be surprised or shocked... depression and grief are real, and I was suffering!) But then after hours of prayer and therapy, God convinced me of my worth on my own and that I was NOT going anywhere! He said He had somethings I needed to do; He was not finish with me. Now I needed to get my act together! I do have some major cleaning up in my life to do, but I know that I am not alone! 

 

My life now is nothing like I thought it would be.  Nothing worked out the way I wanted or the way I planned. However, my life is not bad, it’s not easy, it’s pretty good, but I am also learning every day how to move forward with the hand I have been given. God has placed some extraordinary people in my life that pray for me, check on me, and will continue to love me in spite of my defects, flaws, and imperfections.  

They are my…

Let me leave you with this: Mostly we must know that God will love us, forgive us, never leave us, and guide us no matter what we do. He will always be there for us.  Believe me; it took me a while to get back to this frame of mind and way of thinking. 

What is left now… I continue to move forward, learn from my mistakes, and operate in the attitude of restoration. Meaning I will not be hard on myself for living and making mistakes. I am thankful to be alive, breathing, walking, testimony of HIS great love for me.  I am a mess, but, HE will take this mess and turn it into a great message!

I love you all

Have a blessed an Amazing Weekend!